When I first started the Chrysalis Programme I intended to blog after every session but somehow it hasn’t worked out like that; life has well and truly got in my blogging way. Some of it bad: a rather challenging couple of weeks on my blog which led me to taking a mini break from the blogging world. And some of it rather good: a trip to Malaysia (I know, very exciting. You can read about it here); and the start of a refurbishment plan at home.
But please don’t take my silence as a sign that I am not moving forward with the programme because I very much am.
However, as I have frequently found, the road to recovery can be bumpy. The negative experience on my own blog led to a lot of stress – and unsurprisingly – a dip in my energy. But as a result of the experience I took extra care of myself and have ended up physically stronger. I used the techniques that I have learnt on the programme to manage the stress; I had a coaching session with Kelly which really helped me look at a few things differently; I had a hypnotherapy session; and I started reading one of the books recommended on the programme: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which has had a really big impact on me. (I am now an affirmation junkie!)
And I have carried on working through the sessions on the programme. I have looked at nutrition: this is the session I was least looking forward to because I knew it would also cover supplements and I have had a rather bad experience with liquids, pills and potions at another clinic. (I did an 18 month supplement programme and EVERYTHING I tried made me REALLY ill.) So I am a little scarred (physically, mentally and financially!) from the whole experience and was not exactly keen on rushing into another powder and pill regime. So I took a deep breath and did my best to keep an open mind.
The session includes some common sense advice on diet and there is an opportunity to work with a nutritionist. I have had a whole series of tests with the previous clinic and already revamped my eating, so for me, it was about revisiting my test results to see if I had missed anything. And I made a start with some of the basic recommended supplements. (See – very open!)
The next session looked at The Endocrine System and The Stress Cycle. The more I work on recovery the more I understand the importance of managing stress. It’s easy to dismiss stress as a peripheral part of the illness but for me I know it is an integral part of my symptoms.
I would like to tell you that CFS has taught me to be all Zen like – but I would be lying. I am a stress head and I have to work hard on a daily basis – if not an hourly basis! – to keep my stress tendencies at bay. But by facing up to my stressy ways and managing them I am one step closer to Zenness.
The next session was on values and carried on with the stress theme. You are asked to look at what values are important to you and more importantly review whether your life is aligned with those values. I found this so interesting; it is so easy to get caught up in a world of shoulds. I am now having a refocus to make sure I am living my life in a way that is authentic to my core values.
I am getting so much from the programme. Each session is comprehensive with a mix of reading, interviews with specialists to listen to and exercises to do. I feel like I am Holmes doing a thorough investigation on my individual case of CFS!
And by being diligent about the programme I am moving forward. I do my journal every morning and evening, I do meditation or relaxation every day, I have a good diet, I exercise at a level that is appropriate to me, I pace and have balance in my life, I am learning to say no to things I don’t want to do, I am doing rather a lot of affirmations and I think I am also responding to an adrenal supplement I have started.
I won’t lie, it can be hard work; some days it can feel relentless. I would like to just be able to do whatever I want without doing all of this stuff. But not doing it is not the answer either, because being ill is pretty relentless too. And the hard work is paying off. It’s two weeks since we got back from Malaysia and I have not dipped. In comparison, we did a long haul trip a few years ago and it took me several months to recover. So there it is, in black and white: PROGRESS. Glorious, glorious progress!
You can read more about my adventures at Sofa and the City
